About Me

I'm out of touch.  My wife and I spent seven years living in France, but it wasn't just that.  I think I started noticing it sometime in my mid 30's, that modern movies just seemed too fast for me.  Too much going on, too hyper paced, no character development, no slow builds...  It makes me grumpy.  And so I come here, to this blog, to vent my spleen about film and TV - Think of this blog as the commentary of a thoughtful pipe smoking guy on our entertainment culture, past, present, and future.

What kinds of movies will you focus on?
Different genres, certainly.  I didn't want this to be a genre-specific review site, because if it was it would probably be all horror movies and my buddy Captain Midnight already has that topic sewn up on his Midnight Monster Show blog.  I will, however, write most about my main interests - Horror films, science fiction films, film noir, trash films, foreign films (with a special focus on French films), and Godzilla movies.  Also holiday movies, because I'm a well-rounded guy and I enjoy seasonal flicks.  I dislike CGI-heavy films and am actively put off by many modern cinematic hyperkinetic things that feel like someone is screaming in my face for two hours in the theater.  I'd rather watch the 70's made-for-TV "Night Stalker" movie than Transformers 7.  And while I love me some good horror films, gore and torture do little for me, and I'd a million times rather watch a Peter Cushing Hammer film than Hostel/Saw/"Let's hack someone to bits for 90 minutes"-type movies.

What's with all the pipe and tobacco and beer talk?
I love matching things together.  The first time I sat and smoked a clay churchwarden while watching "Ghost of Frankenstein", I knew I'd found an ideal companion piece for the movie.  Since then, I'm known to debate for some time over exactly which pipes and which tobaccos and which drinks will all go together to make the perfect sensory enhancement to whatever I'm watching.  My wife watches this behavior and laughs, so obviously I'm well enough set in my peculiar obsession to bore the rest of the world with it.

Does the world really need another movie review blog?
Does the world really need another bureaucrat?  Besides, look on the bright side - If I'm here bitching about how insanely stupid all the recent Doctor Who Christmas specials have been, I'm not out there ruining somebody's forum with a big flamewar about that subject.  Blogs are lunatic containment devices.  Be happy. 

Where is your review for <X> big budget just-released summer CGI spectacle movie?
Heh heh, yeah, right.  I very rarely go see those things.  If you're looking for reviews of what's in the theater this weekend, this is not the movie blog for you.  On the other hand, if you'd rather sit down with a deluxe DVD of "Werewolf of London" than pay $25 to see "Fast and the Furious 6: More Furious" in a theater full of teens yelling into their cell phones, then settle right in and make yourself at home.