The Tall Man (2012)

NetFlix 3.5/5
IMDB 5.9/10
My Rating: 7/10

In a depressed and dying mining community, a mysterious figure called "The Tall Man" begins abducting the neighborhood children. When a mother's young son is taken, she plunges headfirst into a deeper mystery.


The Tall Man, like a movie I reviewed earlier, Triangle, is a tough flick to write about.  There's a plot on top of a plot on top of a plot, and my hope is to encourage folks to watch the film without actually spoilering what makes the film so excellent.  And it is excellent, in my opinion - It's clever, very tense, well acted, and well told.  What it is not is a horror film.  I notice on IMDB it has received a number of negative reviews from people disappointed that it wasn't a slasher or a supernatural scare flick, and I think the promotional material I've seen for it does lead one to think that they're in for stabbings and Paula Deen-level terror.  Nope.  It's more a mystery/thriller, the sort of movie I'd recommend to my parents even.  "The Tall Man" is certainly a menacing figure and the child theft theme amps up the tension factor, but it's not a film that leaves a trail of bloody bodies.

What is does have is several great genre actors - The X Files' Cigarette Smoking Man makes an appearance (and when he turns up on YOUR side, you know you're screwed) and it's also lucky to have Stephen McHattie in a small part as the lead investigator.  McHattie has been a favorite of mine ever since I saw him in that most unusual zombie film, Pontypool - One of my personal favorites of the last ten years.  He's a good actor with a great stare... Manic, intense, and with a lot of screen presence that is aided by the fact that he resembles a sort of ambulatory mummy, as if Karloff strolled out of the sarcophagus and threw on a trenchcoat.

So what exactly IS this movie about?  In a small, dying mining town, the children are being abducted by a seemingly magical figure called the Tall Man.  Atmosphere is a big part of the story and the depiction of a crumbling, formerly middle class town, with boarded storefronts and broken windows and even more broken lives, is a familiar sight in these modern times.  Unemployed citizens are everywhere, sitting by roadsides, yelling at their spouses, and generally living dead-end lives in a community that's slowly spiraling into inevitable decay.  The additional sense of doom from having their children literally vanishing adds to the overall despair.  Police seem helpless to solve the crimes or find the kids.  When our heroine, a young mother of a rather odd looking child, interrupts his abduction, the chase is on... and what a chase it is!  The bulk of the film is in constant motion as we follow her through twist after twist.

Be braced for some confusion midstream - Unlike so many movies that are good right up to a disappointing finale, this one can be vexing and seem overly twisty until the final reveal, which makes all the preceding events fall into place for an unnerving and thoughtful conclusion that asks some big questions about society as a whole.  I loved it, personally.  Definitely recommended!

And the bad?  The unfortunate title means that forever after, our Google searches are going to confuse THIS Tall Man for the REAL Tall Man, and as every loyal Phantasm fan knows, the wrath of the Tall Man is not a thing to take lightly...

14 (A Book Review)

My Rating: 7/10

Padlocked doors. Strange light fixtures. Mutant cockroaches.

There are some odd things about Nate’s new apartment. Of course, he has other things on his mind. He hates his job. He has no money in the bank. No girlfriend. No plans for the future. So while his new home isn’t perfect, it’s livable. The rent is low, the property managers are friendly, and the odd little mysteries don’t nag at him too much.

At least, not until he meets Mandy, his neighbor across the hall, and notices something unusual about her apartment. And Xela’s apartment.  And Tim’s.  And Veek’s.

Because every room in this old Los Angeles brownstone has a mystery or two. Mysteries that stretch back over a hundred years. Some of them are in plain sight. Some are behind locked doors. And all together these mysteries could mean the end of Nate and his friends.

Or the end of everything...

I just finished this in audiobook form (I listen to tons of audiobooks during my long days in my woodworking shop). It was loads of fun. It is by Peter Clines, an author whose work I've previously read in "Ex-Heroes", a very straightforward genre mashup of superheroes and zombies (After the zombie apocalypse, the world's masked avenger types round up the survivors in LA and attempt to defend them inside a fortified compound. This was every bit as entertaining and as dumb as it sounds).

14 was a whole different kettle of fish, and it's as hard to review as Triangle was, because I don't want to give away what made it so cool. It's like a combination of Lost and Lovecraft, with a mystery/horror/SF bent.   The hero is a young slacker type who works as a data entry temp and is stuck in that "Waiting for his life to start" phase (Weren't we all, once?  Let's just call it "Age 21-26", eh?), when he finds a new apartment that is too good to be true - Incredibly cheap rent, included utilities, and a nice building. After moving in, however, he begins to notice oddities - The elevator is always in the basement, the building has no power lines going to it, his kitchen light fixture turns any bulb put into it into a black light, and his neighbors are a collection of oddities. Tim is a former book publisher with a skill range from James Bond, there's a young actress who spends her time topless on the roof, and computer nerd Veek is a cranky geekette with an apartment so crammed with high powered PC gear that she could run 4Chan in her spare time.

The book is about the deepening mystery as these disparate characters begin to cooperate, Scooby Doo fashion, to delve into the mysteries and secrets of their strange building.   I went into it expecting either a haunted apartment story or an evil landlord story, and instead got the Phantasm effect - That feeling I had way back when first watching Phantasm, that I was completely expecting the story about a funeral home to be a ghost or vampire movie and instead got weird yellow-blooded aliens and fingers turning into crazy bugs and evil jawas from another dimension. 14 is an ongoing succesion of unexpected twists and discoveries and weirdness that goes from Mystery Gang fun to sanity-shattering, universe-threatening horror. The characters are simple but it's well written and has a lot of clever, natural-sounding dialog. Worth reading.

Another opinion!

Marchlands (2011)

NetFlix N/A
IMDB 7.4/10
My Rating: 8/10

In this ITV 5 part miniseries, 3 families across 3 different time periods are impacted by the supernatural repercussions of a young girl's death.

During the years we lived overseas, we watched a lot of BBC via our satellite dish but very little ITV, other than the occasional US TV shows they'd run.  ITV was... Well, as the Brits might say, it was Chav-TV.  Reality shows by the ton, trashy soaps about self-obsessed young people having sex all the time, and just generally not what you'd think of as intelligent television.  That's why I was all the more surprised to be so impressed with this show - When did ITV start making TV for people who weren't the UK equivalent of Dittoheads?  (Normally I'd pick on the Tea Party as my example of Stupidus Americanus, but Rush is on my mind at the moment for his absolutely hilarious and roundly internet-mocked accusations that comicbook villain Bane is a liberal conspiracy to make Mitt Romney look bad.  Nevermind that Rush would probably be a Bane fan if he'd just get to know him...)

So, Marchlands is a great show.  Let's just start with that up front.  You especially need to see this if you're an old-school horror fan, because the style of scares here is right out of The Haunting or The Legend of Hell House.  This is not full up with jerkycam ghosts and "BOO!" jump scares - Instead, we're introduced to a cast that we believe in and invest in, and we're slowly drawn into the mystery of the hauntings that occur... So slowly that when something genuinely creepy happens, the skin goes all prickly.

The story is really three stories in one.  In the 1960's, a young couple live with parents in the titled household and cope with grieving over the loss of their daughter.  Mysterious circumstances surround her accidental drowning and the heartbroken mother is essentially walled out by the "Everything must be normal" facade of her family and village friends.  In the 80's, a family with children live in the same house and find their daughter increasingly targeted by an unseen presence that she calls her "invisible friend".  And in the present day, a young couple buy the house for their quiet country escape and find something is very interested in their newborn baby.

All three tales connect in ways both expected and unexpected.  It reminded me somewhat of American Horror Story in this respect with the house's past always lurking right on the edge of the current day experience and giving deeper layers of meaning to all sorts of seemingly casual occurrences.  It isn't so intense as American Horror Story, though - While AHS was like a steam train barreling directly at you, Marchlands is more of a soft touch...  Just a delicate whisper of scares here and there, just enough to keep you uneasy.  It helps that the characters are so real.  Alex Kingston departs from her River Song persona in Doctor Who to embody a frustrated, anxious 80's housewife, and the producers did a great job at choosing look-alike actors to play younger and older versions of the same characters across the time span.

To enjoy it the most, don't look at it as a horror series, look at it as a mystery with horror elements.  The cloud overhanging the death of the young girl is gradually unveiled over the series and for once, everything wraps to a tidy conclusion without any jarring, "Let's throw this in just to be clever" twists - It's smart but doesn't try to be TOO smart.  Worth seeing!

Solitary (2009)

NetFlix 3.1/5
IMDB 5.7/10
My Rating: 6.5/10

One day, Sara finds herself unexpectedly stricken with severe agoraphobia and is unable to leave her home.  When her husband goes missing, she is trapped inside her house with only her sister, police detectives, and her doctor to link her to the outside world.  As the mystery of her vanished husband deepens, she begins to unravel.  

Here is the classic "Movie that no one has heard of" - As I write this, it only has one review on IMDB and I don't know a single other person who's seen it, but it's worth seeing.  It is a gripping mixture of some very unbalanced elements - Dull direction, a great lead actress, unconvincing secondary characters, a mediocre TV movie feel, and a genuinely tense and moving story.  In the end, the quality of the story wins out over the film's demerits and I would certainly recommend it to others.  Be prepared to think I'm crazy, though, because this is how you'll react when you start watching this:

• There are no recognizable actors in this.  It looks like a soap opera.  Is this a TV movie?  Do they still make network TV movies?
• Wow, those are some genuinely unconvincing suspense scenes.  I've really never seen the camera come flying up behind someone before, to the tune of a screeching soundtrack.  That KFP guy actually liked this?
• Hmm.  TV movie direction mixed with long quiet bits of tedium, and now something totally unbelievable?  My suspension of disbelief has crawled away and died.  Is this trying to be SF or what?  
• OK, that was creepy.
• Is this Gaslight?  Suddenly I find myself getting wrapped up in this.
• Holy crap, OK, that was very weird indeed.  What the hell is going on here?
• My entire brain is focused on trying to figure out what is happening.
• Scary!  But I think I have it figured out.
• Wow.  I was wrong.  That was excellent.  What a great ending, even with the fairly awful FX.

So, if it sounds like I'm running the movie down regarding its no-budget feel, let me stress that ultimately, the story and your emotional involvement with the main character will overcome its limitations and grab you tight.  By the time it was over, my crying wife had the Kleenexes out - That was how unexpectedly wrapped up we'd gotten in it, after spending the first half hour trying to decide if we should give up and go watch Airport '75 instead.

Our heroine Sara starts off with the perfect life - Happily married to a guy who brings her breakfast in bed and full of wholesome suburban bliss.  One day she goes out for a run and is stricken with agoraphobia, manifested by cheesy "camera zooming up behind her" flourishes that we've seen a million times.  Not wanting her husband to think she's a freak, she keeps this panic attack secret until the day he goes off to work and never returns...  Leaving her literally trapped in her home by her terror of going outside.

The movie starts to get going when she calls police detectives out, and we're also introduced to a troublesome relationship with her sister and one very creepy doctor.  Supposedly this fellow is a specialist in her sort of phobia and he wants to test a new treatment on her.  Considering that this is a doctor who refuses to enter by the front door and who turns up at some very odd hours, it's hard to imagine trusting him with a box of matches, but Sara is forced to rely on him as her link to sanity... and, hopefully, the outside world.

And...  That's all I can really say about the plot.  What I can say is that it draws you in slowly - What starts off feeling stilted and clumsy becomes part of the unfolding narrative, and eventually it does all make sense.  I give the movie great credit for actually tying up its loose ends and providing a genuinely emotional conclusion.  I give it even more credit for keeping me guessing the whole way.  A few folks on Netflix complained that they figured it out, but I had no clue what was happening till the end - It grows into a seriously tangled mystery that could be anything from a straightforward Gaslight-style thriller to a time travel sci fi trip.

And yes, it does span genres...  It's a dab of horror and a lot of thriller and two scoops of mystery.  Think of it as a semi-horror film that you can watch on date night, that your SO will enjoy a lot more than Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2.  One moment you're in full "Spot the clues" mode and the next you're tensed up as strange noises start happening in the night.

Another point in its favor is lead actress Amber Jaeger.  She carries the weight of the film and while the other characters are often stilted and distant, she pulls you into her plight even during the times you want to strangle her.  It can't be easy to sell fear when your only indicator is standing at a doorway looking out, but she really convinces as a bright and directed young woman determined to get her husband and her life back, whatever the cost.  This makes it that much harder to watch as the increasing isolation of her predicament takes its toll on her.

My final verdict - Above average and intriguingly different.  Not great, not epic, but gripping and surprising.  Definitely worth seeing, especially given that it's available on Netflix streaming.

Dead of Night (1977)

NetFlix 2.8/5
IMDB 65./10
My Rating: 6/10

A Made-for-TV movie from 1977 that is composed of three stories - A young man restores a vintage car which takes him back in time, a wealthy couple are being terrorized by an apparent vampire, and a grieving mother uses black magic to resurrect her dead son.

The 1970's were a golden era for made-for-TV horror, with all sorts of wild flicks running that would never be touched by the major networks today.  Night Stalker, Norliss Tapes, Trilogy of Terror, Don't be Afraid of the Dark...  It seems so strange now to think that these were being produced by networks like ABC as Friday night movies.  The only horror movie-producing network I can think of today is Syfy, and their output is pretty dire compared to the writing and mood of these older features.

Dead of Night was a pleasant discovery for me.  I'd never seen it before!  Granted, after watching it, it was apparent why it hasn't lodged in a generational memory quite as vividly as Karen Black fighting the Zuni doll, as it's a fairly middling movie.  Still, it's worth seeing just to enjoy the pairing of TV horror veteran Dan Curtis (Dark Shadows, Night Stalker) and horror writer/screenwriter Richard Matheson (I am Legend, Hell House).  It's possible the reason I missed it the first time is just that it isn't really horror, at least except for the final story.

It opens with an enjoyable Ray Bradbury-esque tale about a young man restoring a 20's roadster, which promptly takes him back into 1926.  It's a romantic fantasy story, nostalgic and warm, and not at all spooky, which makes me question why it was included in this package.  It was better than the second story, though, which sees Patrick MacNee wasted as a village aristocrat trying to protect his wife from the nightly visitations of a vampire.  While it has the trappings of a gothic scare story, it's really a bit more Twilight Zone, with a twist ending that is fun but doesn't exactly zing.

The real prize of the package is story #3, titled "Bobby", about a grieving mother who uses magic to bring back her drowned son.  To very ill effect.  You'd think she'd have read "The Monkey's Paw" in school, but alas...  And the meat of this story is what takes place after the dead son returns.  To quote from the Book of Wallace, "He's gone wrong, Gromit!"  The prolonged stalk-and-hide struggle between mother and son takes place all in one dark house, and the tension is really well developed and palpable.  Overall, the Bobby story is just plain spooky - An unnerving combination of "Monkey's Paw", Halloween, and The Shining.

Special mention must go to the Netflix DVD, which is loaded with special features, soundtrack music, and an entire 52 minute pilot for another Dan Curtis horror series from 1969.  Given how some studios have begun stripping out all the special features from their Netflix discs, it's nice to get some extra goodies with this one.  (And no, Big Studios, removing the Making Of feature on your latest summer movie DVD for Netflix is not going to spur me to go out and buy the DVD instead.  If it's a movie I want to own, I will buy it anyway, whether the special features are on the renatl disc or not.  Stripping out extras just makes me hate YOU, Big Studio, it does not manipulate my purchasing decisions.)

Something amazing is on my desktop

And it isn't the MechaGodzilla in the background!  Though he is most impressive too (And well he should be, as he came here all the way from Japan via a curio gift shop in Nantes).  No, I'm speaking of the new full DVD boxed set of 1974's Ellery Queen TV series.  It's been unavailable up till now, and indeed I'd assumed I would never see it again till we were lucky enough to catch it running on BBC TV during our years in France.  As of this year, it's out on DVD and can be had from sources like Amazon for as little as $30.  And where it has an average of 5 Stars from 136 reviews, I might add, with nothing below a 4 star comment.

Ellery Queen is one of my favorite TV series of all time.  Why, you ask?  What appeal could there possibly be in a show set in the 40's but made in the 70's, full of 40's characters inexplicably sporting wide collars and bellbottom pants?  It's not in the stories or the acting or any of that, though all elements mesh very well, but is instead in the fact that Ellery Queen was the first (To my knowledge) interactive TV.  That is to say, you have to work your brain while watching it, and the best enjoyment doesn't come from sitting slack-jawed and passive while the show washes over you, but rather from watching it with a like-minded friend or spouse and working the mysteries yourselves.

You see, the hook is this - Unlike most other mystery shows where you're shown the killer, or the hero solves the problem using deux ex machina, Ellery Queen puts everything in front of you except the identity of the culprit.  Ellery investigates, and you get the clues as Ellery encounters them.  You're on an even footing with the TV detective until that magic point sometime around the 35-40 minute mark when Ellery breaks the fourth wall and turns to you, the audience, with his classic, "And suddenly I knew it - I knew who the killer was!  The clues were right there all along.  Did you get it?  Did you think it was the gardener too?  Or was that too obvious?  Let's see how you did."...  and then we're off to the suspect roundup and finish, when Ellery lays out the evidence and fingers the bad guy.

This works fantastically well on DVD, far better than it ever did on network TV thanks to the wonder of the pause button.  Watch this with a good friend and you're in for an hour of fun debate.  Watch.  Pause.  "Where did that guy just go?  How did he have a key to that door?"  Watch.  Pause.  "And look, he just walked past that door a few minutes later and it's standing open."  It goes like that.  You watch every interaction and every conversation, always on the lookout for those crucial slips that will point you to the murderer.  Emily and I have a grand time of this, going back and forth with a hundred crazy theories per episode.  And while the shows themselves are mellow and leisurely in pace, the tension mounts like mad in the living room as you're all watching the clock tick down towards that inevitable moment when Ellery will do his "Talk to the audience" schtick and you'll know there are no more clues forthcoming.  That's the worst of it, when you're back and forth on evidence and have NO idea who the killer was and seem to have missed everything, and you're literally two minutes away from Ellery's big speech.

So, as interactive TV goes, it's a big win.  Far ahead of its time.  It's the perfect evening's entertainment for any mystery-loving family or group of friends.  While the stories themselves may be standard mystery fare, it's the gimmick that (for once) is more than just a gimmick - It really is the raison d'être of the show.  And the coup de grâce lies in the show's stellar cast of guest stars - Every episode we are treated to walk-on parts from the likes of Vincent Price, Don Ameche, Dana Andrews, George Burns, Joan Collins, Eva Gabor, Roddy McDowall, Cesar Romero, and more.  And Jim Hutton's performance as the affable Ellery stands up to all these folks - It's a tragedy that he died so young, but we could all hope to leave behind such a memorial.
10/10 from me.


Oh, and by the way...  Did I even mention the excellent theme by none other than Elmer Bernstein?  Here's a typical intro, opening with the mystery layout and flowing into the marvelous opening music:

Triangle

NetFlix
IMDB
My Rating: 8/10

A young woman goes on an ocean cruise with friends, only to have their boat wrecked by a mysterious storm.  They believe they are saved when a cruise ship passes by, but investigating the ship proves it to be abandoned... Mostly.

I'll come right out and say this was one of the best movies I saw last year.  It isn't for everyone, though - It requires patience and a lot of mental machinations.  But you won't think that at the start because the plot sounds like half a dozen other "Ghost Ship" movies and when the action kicks in and the group find themselves stalked by a masked killer, it looks like you've simply stumbled into a generic slasher... Sort of a Friday the 13th on the Ghost Titanic.

This is not at all the case, however.

The problem with reviewing it is that I can't say ANYTHING about it - This is a movie review that is not a movie review, beyond saying, "Watch this". Do NOT look it up on IMDB or it will be totally spoilered for you. Also, don't even look up poster images for it. I like the poster above because it is extremely generic yet unsettling, and that's all the advance warning that anyone should have going into this.. Unfortunately, several of the movie's posters that turn up in Google searches totally spoiler the film....duh? Too many clearly show the central dichotomy that drives the concept, leaving no room for surprise.

And alas, that is literally the most that I can describe about this film, beyond saying that it is a marvelous exercise for the brain and that it will leave you wondering and talking about it long afterward as you debate with your friends the various meanings and symbols and interconnections within the story.

I can say this:


It is NOT "Ghost Ship" or any of the other "big empty haunted ship" movies.


If you liked Lost, you will like this.


If you liked Timecrimes, you will LOVE this, but it is NOT the same story. 


If you like movies that make you think, you will like this.


It is not a horror film. It is a mystery/thriller with horror elements. It is also a Chinese puzzle box of a movie. 


There are moments that will provoke an audible, "Oh, shit!" from you.  (One scene in particular created one of the strongest reactions of horror that I've had in a long time, probably since seeing [REC])


**  One addendum - I really found myself quite happy that this movie has no "twist", as shouted in some of the posters and promos. Ever since Shymalyalyan appeared, it's seemed as if Hollywood thinks all horror movies need a twist ending, where you find out the killer is really her brother or whatever. I've gotten very bored with that because twists have become formulaic, which blows the whole idea of the twist in the first place if you're sitting there waiting for the twist. Triangle is just one simple, powerful idea.

And finally, once you've viewed the movie, try this challenge.  Sit down and see if you can create a flowchart of events to explain how her keys got onto the Aeolus...


  Suggested Accompaniment: This is not a drinking movie because you'll need all your wits about you by the time you're at the 3/4 mark.  Pipes are encouraged, however, because we all know that smoking a pipe makes you smarter and thus better equipped to tackle some of the brain-stretching themes encapsulated in this story.

 

Franklyn

NetFlix
IMDB
My Rating: 6/10  

In the futuristic Meanwhile City, a masked vigilante (Ryan Phillippe) seeks out his nemesis while in contemporary London, an art student (Eva Green) attempts to kill herself, a heartbroken lover (Sam Riley) looks for someone new and a father (Bernard Hill) searches for his son. Writer-director Gerald McMorrow's sci-fi drama follows these desperate individuals as their lives become intertwined by fate.

A very odd movie, but one which I think most everyone here would enjoy with a few caveats. For starters, it's NOT a superhero/SF/action flick, despite what posters and categories and trailers might suggest - It's a contemporary psychological drama set mostly in modern day London. The posters and ads seem to focus on the action aspects of a masked mystery man in Meanwhile City, and while he is the crux of the movie, don't go into this expecting Batman or Watchmen. It's more like a surreal fusion of Brazil, Dark City, and a BBC character drama. The SF/superhero aspect of it is only one slice of story out of multiple concurrent tales.

In modern London, a troubled young artist plans suicide, a young man is jilted at the altar and develops an obsession for a childhood sweetheart, and a father searches frantically for his lost son. In Meanwhile City, something straight out of a Gilliam-verse, a Rorschach-esque masked vigilante roams the streets, ostracized because he is an atheist in a city where everyone has to have a religion by law. He stalks his enemy, a child murderer, while being pursued by the agents of the church/government.

It's a weird mix for a movie. The modern day stories are intriguing and good in their own right, but can't help but be overshadowed by the weirdness of Meanwhile City, where everyone has a religion and change them regularly (I was particularly fond of the Seventh Day Manicurists).  It isn't on the level of Brazil by a long shot but it does have some wicked dark humor in it, in the Meanwhile City sections. In fact, I was wishing they'd spent more time there and fleshed out the city more, because the little bits of it that we get are wonderfully weird.

Here is another film that you'll watch for one hour wondering WTF is going on and if these stories will ever connect, but they do, eventually. In fact, I thought the ending was just a little bit TOO twee compared to the preceding, but the threads do tie together in interesting fashion. I can't say, "This is awesome, you MUST run out and watch it", but I can say, "It is worth seeing and won't disappoint if you don't go in expecting a superhero action film." There are no superhero antics. Well, there is one slow-mo fight scene that sticks out in a pretty dumb "300" way but it's mercifully brief. I almost wonder if it was included just for the trailer, since the rest of the violence is quite realistic and of the "Gonna break this bar stool over your head" variety. Mostly it seemed to be a dark psychological drama that the promoters looked at and said, "Hey, if we focus on this masked guy we'll bring in all the Watchmen audience and the teens", so the promotional material for it makes it look VERY different than it is. 

Worth seeing. 

Suggested Accompaniment:   Black sandblasted churchwarden.  Or even a clay - I don't say this often about any movies made after 1949 but this would work well as a clay pipe movie, especially if you're lucky enough to have one of the artistic creations of French artisan Gerard Prungnaud.  Let me load up my Prungnaud calabash with some Gawith Bracken Flake, pour a mug of Black Chocolate Stout, and I'm a happy hobbit.

Ondine

NetFlix
IMDB
My Rating: 6.5 /10  

An Irish fisherman (Colin Farrell) hauls in an unexpected catch when a mysterious girl (Alicja Bachleda) gets tangled in his nets and soon affects the lives of everyone around her in this fantastical seaside tale from director Neil Jordan (Interview with the Vampire). Is it possible this beautiful stranger is a mythical sea nymph who's been summoned from the ocean's depths ... or is she something far more common?

If you're looking for something to watch with the missus, you could do much worse than this.  Take a pinch of "Local Hero" and a dab of "Secret of Roan Innish" and stir them into a mystery/romance and you get this. The wives will love it and the husbands won't be bored, because it's about a million times better than the typical chick flick. Colin Farrell even plays a sympathetic part, instead of his usual dickish persona. The coastal scenery of Ireland is terrific, too.

Basically, our hero is a lonely fisherman separated from an alcoholic wife with a crippled daughter, and one day he hauls up his net and there's a girl in it. She doesn't want to be seen by anyone and seems to have magical fishie powers. There's some amusing stuff as his wheelchair-bound daughter starts an investigation on the mystery woman living in dad's shack, and some very understated humor. It's all quite relaxing and non-shrill, with excellent music. Things take a dark turn when the selkie husband appears and starts pursuing the girl, leading to a final revelation about her nature.

The only downside is the language, since there are several heavy Irish accents involved and even with five years of exposure to various regional accents thanks to BBC, we both found some of the dialog difficult to follow. There was a lot of, "Can you turn this up a little more?"

If your wife is after you to watch something other than monster movies, I recommend this as a choice that will not fry your sanity.

Suggested Accompaniment: If you need me to tell you Guinness and a Peterson pipe filled with Peterson Irish Oak, you'll not be getting any Lucky Charms, ever.

Dial M for Murder

NetFlix
IMDB
My Rating: 9/10  

Em and I are getting very much into old film noir and Hitchcock movies thanks to Netflix streaming. They've got a great library of such films, even including the little known Vincent Price noir "Shock". Many of these are movies I have heard of over the years, but never seen, since my focus was always on monster movies instead. So, we recently watched "Shock" (Fun), "The Lady Vanishes" (Excellent after a slow start), and last night, "Dial M for Murder".

DMfM was absolutely terrific.  It's an amazing lesson in suspense, because it keeps you on the edge of your seat for the full runtime without ever having a single fistfight or car chase or explosion. It takes place nearly entirely in one room. If you're not familiar with it, a greedy husband plans to kill his unfaithful wife for her fortune. He is extremely intelligent and comes up with a seemingly perfect murder plan, laid out over the course of a year, but things start to go haywire when reality intervenes with his scheme and his wife's mystery-writing novelist lover gets involved. The whole thing was a classic illustration of the immortal line from "Body Heat" - "Counselor, in any crime there are a hundred ways to fuck up, and if you can think of 25 of those ways, you're a genius...and you ain't no genius."

The complexity of the mystery will give your brain a serious workout - It's akin to watching episodes of Ellery Queen in that you have to be constantly tracking different clues and how they fit together, on the fly, to keep pace with the plot. There are a few complaints on IMDB from people who totally lost it in the third act and I can see how this could happen if you're not accustomed to really having to use your brain during a film.

Awesome movie. Also, Ray Milland makes a fantastically evil villain, he of the X-Ray eyes. 


Suggested Accompaniment: A very good quality red wine and a very tangy Virginia tobacco blend, preferably in a classical pipe of post war vintage - Think 1950's Dunhill billiard and you've reached movie watching Nirvana.